How to Create Long Lasting Change in Yourself and Your Life
There are as many thoughts and definitions as to what coaching represents, as there are, coaches. However, one thing is true; the primary goal of effective coaching is about creating long lasting change. The challenge however is part of the human condition is that most of us, hate the idea of change.
A recent survey revealed even after a severe heart attack, only 20% percent of victims took on board a serious exercise and diet regime. Incredibly, some refuse to change… even if to save their own lives!
Our own intuition will tell us that if we keep doing the same things over and over again, then in three, five or ten years’ time, we will be in exactly the same place. Allow for inflation, and we may even find that we have gone backwards! For many, we feel this conditioned behavior is permanent and unchanging.
I love the saying that… ‘everything we really really want lies outside our comfort zone’.
What that means is we internally and intuitively know we need to develop ourselves mentally, spiritually and emotionally if we want to grow, stretch and be different… if we truly want to change what we feel is simply not working in our lives.
To my mind, this throws up two powerful concepts. First; what can the coach do to help, encourage, assist in creating long lasting change that will help move the client onward, upward and toward an intended goal or outcome? And secondly, what can the coachee, trainee or client do to internally accept this change, to embrace it and to work toward the desired goal or outcome – whether they’re mentally ready or not?
I’m concerned by the number of coaches who say to me, “after the third or fourth meeting, I am frequently running out of ideas and suggestions of what I should be telling my clients.”
The cure? I believe coaches must continually work on themselves by developing their motivation, questioning and listening skills. There aren’t any valid reasons for coaches not researching their clients businesses and problems. The deeper a coach is willing to go into their client’s world, the more accurate the advice, options and solutions will be.
And it’s inevitable clients will have stalled, lost their MoJo or hit some kind of invisible barrier that’s stopping them from creating breakthrough after breakthrough that’s needed to maintain a continuous level of success.
And this is the exact place where the coach earns their fee; by sharpening their coaching skills and tools in order to help create the result, outcome or goal.
Once a coach can direct and steer a client to become self-motivated and –self-directed, the ongoing opportunities for both coach and client will multiply. That’s because once a client realizes they’re really in control, that they’re taking responsibility for their own outcomes, that they’re energized about their own spirit and energy, all of which has come from work done inside the coaching relationship, there’s an automatic desire to want more, to reach higher, to challenge the impossible.
The methods and processes for client’s reaching such ownership of their futures will differ from coach to coach. Maybe the use of meditation, affirmations, getting into the vortex or the use of hypnosis can be used to implant powerful suggestions into the clients mind – at a cellular level. I use hypnosis in my business all the time and my clients embrace it and quickly reap benefits.
I believe coaches must continually lift and inspire their clients to higher levels of belief and possibility. Personally, I do this by recommending a specific book or video. I strategically choose just the right book to suit and match the client’s particular situation in that precise moment of time.
I also instruct my clients to select further relevant and associated books from Kindle or Amazon. And because I am so precise and deliberate in my selection, I often create breakthroughs and epiphany moments in a short space of time for my clients.
We all need reaffirmation and confirmation that what we’re doing and what we’re up to, is appreciated and recognized. We all need an injection boost of self-confidence, regularly. I encourage, motivate and lift the spirits of my clients. I let them know how well they’re doing.
A coaching relationship is a two way commitment and coachees (clients) have to commit to show up and be open to being coached. And that may mean at times that they’ll suffer an injury to their self-esteem or ego.
It’s true however, that not everyone is teachable, trainable and coachable. Or, more accurately, not everyone is willing or open to being coached and guided.
There’s no value committing to a coaching relationship if you internally know deep down inside that you’re not going to be 100% open and honest to the relationship. You’ll only receive value, breakthroughs and success if you’re willing to be 100% coachable.
Change is inevitable and it is important. Staying where you are is no longer an option for higher quality living, for being a happy individual, for achieving your next goal, your next challenge or your next milestone. Unless that is, you’re 100% happy with everything that life currently brings you.
Once inside a coaching relationship, the biggest value, the biggest impact, the biggest results you’ll receive will be based on your level of input and your level commitment you put into what’s being asked of you.
And your coach will ask many things of you. Some of it may be uncomfortable because at times you’ll be venturing into unchartered territory. And that’ll prove to be incredibly transformative because your highest levels of growth and development you’ll ever receive is when you step outside the confines and boundaries you’ve previously set yourself.
A good coach will walk side by side with you and show you how incredible you really are, no matter what fears, doubts and inhibitions you may currently have. And for that to happen, you’ve got to apply yourself and commit to the relationship by showing up and participating in all that’s asked of you.
If you’re prepared for that, then… watch out, because the old version of you won’t recognize the fresh, new, updated version of your better self.
That’s what good coaching can do for you.
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