I am worth it
Developing confidence about money can be a daunting task if you doubt your self-worth. Here
are a few ways to get past common hurdles.
Money can be an uncomfortable subject for many. Do you sweat when it comes to negotiating
the salary for a new job or asking for a raise, even when you know you deserve one? Whether
worries about financial insecurity or a lack of personal confidence are at the root of one’s
uneasiness, the inability to talk openly and candidly about dollars can hold your career back.
Developing, even actively practicing, more self-assurance in talking about money matters can
bolster your overall career confidence.
“Many clients feel that this is an uncomfortable topic, and many feel unprepared to explain why
they are worth a certain salary figure,” says Hallie Crawford, Certified Career Coach. “It is very
important to be prepared to talk about money and feel confident when doing it,” Crawford says,
“Knowing your worth prevents you from being taken advantage of and helps you to continue to
advance in your career path—you will be alert to opportunities to keep moving forward.”
Money and Self-Worth
There are a variety of fairly simple mistakes a person can make that might get in the way of
asking for enough, says Crawford, like “not realizing that you have a certain skill set,” or failing
to thoroughly research the salary your position calls for.
Some may feel very confident in their skills and abilities, and yet feel squeamish about the simple act of asking for a dollar figure, or to nudge up an amount they’ve been offered. Some might even feel reluctant to treat what they do best in the world as a job simply because they enjoy it, when, in fact, their passion is likely to make the value of their skill or service more valuable to a client or employer, not less.
“Sometimes it is something more serious, such as the ‘Impostor Syndrome.’ This is common with business professionals, especially women,” says Crawford. A definite buzzword these days,
“impostor syndrome” occurs when no matter how talented or experienced a person might be in a
given field, they have a such hard time believing it from within, they tend to understate their
accomplishments when moving through the career front, with the unaddressed, underlying
feeling that they are frauds.
But making space to work with these feelings, and face them head-on can result in dramatic,
positive career changes. “One client, who did not have a college degree, always undersold
herself,” says Crawford. “When she finally understood and became confident in her own worth,
she landed a huge promotion at another company in another city…so large her family relocated
for her to go there.”
Possessing the confidence to ask for more than your own underlying self-critic wants you to,
may even make or break your chances at getting a new job or project. “Companies look for
employees who are confident,“If they see that a potential employee is not confident in this
aspect, they may conclude they wouldn’t be confident in carrying out their tasks. They would
likely hire the more confident candidate.”
How Coaching Can Help
So, what’s the best way to start building one’s confidence in money matters? If the work sphere
is the primary environment where a person runs into the greatest fears and pitfalls, a career coach
has a host of helpful tools.
“A career coach can help a client to discover their strengths, help them learn how to internalize
their accomplishments, and also conduct practice sessions to help them feel more confident when
expressing themselves,” says Crawford. Practicing saying what you charge for a service, or what
salary you believe you deserve to be paid with a coach can be help one build the mental muscle
to do it when the time comes. No amount of practice is too little.
Some, like life coach Marie Forleo on her online program MarieTV, have even suggested that groups of supportive friends or family get together to help a friend with flagging confidence run their money positive script over coffee or dinner.
If one’s lack of confidence extends well outside of professional matters, then a life coach can
also be a helpful option. In a recent blog on the UK’s Life Coach Expert website, Jeff Durham
writes about the fear of rejection as a major roadblock to confidence, as many of us have a deep-
seated, lifelong habit of trying to please others over ourselves.
A life coach may provide insights and tools to help one practice more self-awareness, so they begin to recognize when they are reverting into this habit. They may also coach a person in the art of saying “no” him or herself, which can be an essential tool for building one’s self-respect.
“By saying ‘no’ occasionally, you’re respecting your own needs which will boost your self-confidence to a level by which you’ll understand and respect occasions when people might say no to you too,” Durham writes.
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Developing confidence about money can be a daunting task if you doubt your self-worth. Here are a few ways to get past common hurdles. Money...